that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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