Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
