giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
