He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My bed smells like the plague
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
