i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
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My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
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Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
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