Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
