I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
