Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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