I'm so fucking centered right now
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
