don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
