We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I could fuck to npr.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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