I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
