But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
