party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
