i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
