Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
