i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
