I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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