just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
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As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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