I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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