Non-Jews are for practice
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
