You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
