don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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