Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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