I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
