I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
