I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I want you more than these girls want KFC
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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