exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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