You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
