everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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