You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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