This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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