ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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