I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
