I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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