Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
