Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
