Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
