Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
