The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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