Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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