I love black thongs
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
