Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize