is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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