Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
