just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize