Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
