just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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