dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
it's like iHOP with fire
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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