don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize