i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
