STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
