haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
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No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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