you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
