kristin has been a bad kristin
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
