just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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