I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
false alarm. still invincible.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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