Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize