covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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