Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering