I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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