I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.