It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now