I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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