Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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