god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i now understand why vodka
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
