I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
